Hey Evergreen kids:

Idealism doesn't make up for a lack of brains.

This is all a joke.

So, my boyfriend and I have decided that we want to go to prom this year. Seeing as I have absolutely no money, I decided to make the dress, borrow some shoes, and whatnot.
What is still the problem, however, is that the tickets cost sixty-five dollars.
I am too lazy to get a job, so I lack the funds for that. My question for you, my dearest readers, is how could I make money very quickly besides whoring myself out?

Tomorrow is the last day of my first day back this quarter. I already feel worn out. My legs are sore from walking everywhere this week because I am a lazy, sedentary bastard.
But, here is a list of intersting things from this week I find noteworthy
There's apparently a couple of class three pervies at school this quarter. Neat!
I got a parking ticket today. That made me angry, so I stole a flower. I sure showed that flower bush who's boss.
I have two write two ten-page papers at the end of the quarter.
But, on the bright side, my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now!
I think that is pretty neat, and exciting. I can follow through with things, yay! Also, I happen to like him quite a bit. That's always a plus.
Also, I get to see all my friends again! I didn't realize how much I missed them last quarter when I was hiding in the forest at WSU. I even have my business class with Benny!
I have also returned to my pastry heaven. Oh, how I missed the glorious pastries.

Spring break is over. Mine wasn't particularly exciting, but it was fun while it lasted.
I've been feeling kind of unhappy lately. I've been thinking too much, as usual. Hopefully I'll feel more normal once school starts.
But, in less than a week, my boyfriend and I will have been dating for a year. I think that is pretty neat. I'm making him a card, and maybe a stencilled t-shirt if I can scrounge up some money for it.
We also might go to prom this year. That should be interesting, to say the least. I figure it's so cliche I have to do it. He never got to go to any of his highschool dances, so maybe he'll enjoy it. It will be my first one, too.
Although, I have been particularly avoiding them for what I feel are fairly obvious reasons.
I need a job soon, but I don't really want one. I'm not so sure if anyone would hire me. I really need to start saving up for a million different things, though.
So that's my life as of lately, in a nice, neat little nutshell. It seems so boring now, writing it out like this. I guess that's why I never write anything in here.
Anything written must be exciting and new! It must have pizazz and car chases. It must be loud, flashy, and last for thirty seconds. Anything longer will bore the viewer, they will change channels, fall asleep on you. No one will buy your product, no one will want to buy you.
Writing anything about myself just makes me feel so mediocre, washed out.
Whatever.

I have spent the last two hours stressing out trying to do an assignment that was already due. And now I am ready to kill someone.

Oh, and fuck "Patriot Day."

The weatherman is a terrorist.
He sends messages out to his terrorist network in secret code.
"Heavy rains in Portland this Monday," really means, "Hold back, the pigs are onto us."
"Cold front coming in from the east," really means, "Reinforcements coming in."
But he can't go on like this forever. I've been watching him. I have videotapes and recordings. All of them as incriminating as those videos of Osama Bin Laden saying he hates America.
I will catch him in the act, turn him into the police. I'll be a great herione of my town.
I'll make this country safe from the threat of freedom-hating weathermen and women everywhere.
Because we all know who's really responsible for Hurricane Katrina.
Terrorists, watch out.

mmmm stomach-ache

Jon Beinart, you are a genuis.

The current US anti-war movement makes me sad. I can only imagine the future historical mentions of it, "there was a small anti-war movment in America. Some fasts were organized, but they didn't accomplish much. People marched in pointless, pre-planned routes a lot." We don't even do anything cool like take over Disneyland or shower the US Stock Exchange with fake money.
Where are the yippies?
But the real point is Zydeco music is amazing. So is gypsy music. Both are great to dance to. I want to learn to play the accordian, and run away to eastern Europe to become a gypsy. It will be amazing.
Oh, and I had a dream about bagels last night, then I woke up with a poem about bananas stuck in my head.
I want to learn to make moonshine.
I need to make some new skirts. So if any of you secret readers have any extra fabric, send it this way.
Sometimes I just wish it was legal to be publicly naked. That would be nice.
Yeah, I know this was pointless. What can I say? I lead a pointless life.

I wish I could turn my brain off,
I wish I could make everyone go away,
And I wish I could say 'toy boat' three times fast without fucking up.

I get tired of things too easily.
I'm tired of this town and I pretty much want to leave;
and I think I'm done caring about, well, anything really.
I mean, the world will keep moving on no matter what I do
or don't do.
Plus, we've pretty much killed pretty much everything, anyway.

Yesterday a crowd of 100 people said, "hi," to me. It was awesome.
The end.

Why would anyone ever want to impress another human being?
Humans are disgusting, mean, destructive creatures.
I hope they all hate me.

Hello, I'm monotony.
I've come to take over your life.

I am stupid.

OH MY GOD
TODAY
Was Tuesday.
Which may surprise some of you because it's actually Thursday. I would like to say I'm living in the part of the world where it's actually a differnt day but I don't think that part exists.
So, I'm actually living in...
REVERSO WORLD!!!
OOOOO
Where dead people are zombies and women have good jobs!
It's actually not so great, here, though.
America is ruled by a rhinocerous (as opposed to a chimp), and Uganda has all the money in the world.
So, we're all poor.
and I live off the tops of carrots.
God, I'm hungry.
Send food stamps.

So, Phil was an ugly little bastard.
He never even brushed his teeth.
I mean, he had an eye the size of his head, so why should he bother with oral hygiene?
Plus, Phil just wasn't concerned with earthly things. You see, he talked to God.
I dont' mean he was a weird religious nut who prayed all the time.
I mean, he REALLY talked to God.
They had phone sex.
So he walks around like he's six inches above the ground and thinking he's so damn cool.
Then his cellphone would ring, and he'd get this really smug look on his face and take his leave from the situation.
"I need to take this call," he'd say, as he hovered off to the restrooms.
He'd be in there for a long time, grunting and moaning.
I just wonder if he learned about that whole deal in the Bible where Moses slaughtered all the males of an enemy tribe and took the women as slave concubines. But, then again, maybe he's talking to Allah.
Who knows, though, Phil lies a lot.
He's probably just looking at those pictures of his cousin he found online again.

I should probably update this more.
Whatever, there's not really much to say.